Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she looked like the before picture.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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