Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
