Texts From Last Night

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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos

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  (630): I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos! (317): Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto? (630): Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos http://tfl.nu/vb21
  Replies (20) Good night (2468) Bad night (739)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.

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  (812): Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life. http://tfl.nu/o2zn
  Replies (18) Good night (1290) Bad night (5465) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.

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  (203): I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/3knu
  Replies (12) Good night (1187) Bad night (3917) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.

  (618): View more from Illinois

  Disappointment?

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  (404): They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces. (618): Disappointment? http://tfl.nu/lu72
  Replies (11) Good night (1312) Bad night (3940)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot

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  (630): You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot http://tfl.nu/u2s7
  Replies (8) Good night (4239) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?

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  (850): I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper? http://tfl.nu/y2i2
  Replies (7) Good night (1200) Bad night (3115) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.

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  (828): last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew. http://tfl.nu/yza6
  Replies (17) Good night (5543) Bad night (975)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.

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  (480): Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face. http://tfl.nu/gk53
  Replies (10) Good night (963) Bad night (2180) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.

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  (732): Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know. http://tfl.nu/fesa
  Replies (5) Good night (2285) Bad night (672) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt

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  (704): ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt http://tfl.nu/lv1t
  Replies (5) Good night (870) Bad night (2069) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?

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  (215): Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave? http://tfl.nu/vjuq
  Replies (11) Good night (2217) Bad night (577) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (979): View more from Texas

  Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.

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  (979): Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything. http://tfl.nu/jcb8
  Replies (4) Good night (1868) Bad night (413) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever

  (509): View more from Washington

  but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid

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  (412): you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever (509): but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid http://tfl.nu/bu4c
  Replies (9) Good night (2263) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (323): View more from California

  Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....

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  (323): Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner.... http://tfl.nu/erk9
  Replies (8) Good night (1454) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?

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  (828): Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis? http://tfl.nu/tjmy
  Replies (12) Good night (737) Bad night (160) Order T-Shirt

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