Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
