cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize