That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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