Kareoke will never be a sober sport
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
