maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
