I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
