all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
