I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
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Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
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I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
A bitchslap is in order.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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