yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
