This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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