Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Be still, my beating vagina.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Randomize
