at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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