I need help removing her.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
