why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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