I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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