Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
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