I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
