I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
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