I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
