so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
