You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Life without a bra equals bliss.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
