yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
