i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
