if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Pants 0. Shit 1.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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