White coat. Heels.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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