did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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