only you would photoshop your dick
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Randomize
