drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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