yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
