Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
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