around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize