Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
