if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
you had me at cake vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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