we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
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