these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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