my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
