I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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