it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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