Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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