Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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