When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize