im drinking this country out of the recession.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
