I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
