Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I just forgot I was standing up.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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