So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
