hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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