yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
