If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
