Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
