It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
