Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
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