she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
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