It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Randomize
