I think I just saw someone hide a body.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
