dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize