i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
