Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
