Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
