nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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