I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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