I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
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