I got chris browned last night
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
