just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
